I don't know if I wanted a boy because of circumstansial reasons - for example, I happen to have an older brother myself and love being the younger (and only) sister. Or for silly reasons - as in many of my friends recently had boys and I imagined summer picnics full of boy play and hours spent gathering at Saturday afternoon T-ball games. Or for psychological reasons - it's easier raising boys, right? They seem so much less complicated. But for whatever reason, or combination of reasons, I had it in my head that I wanted a boy. And I like it when I get what I want. Who doesn't?
As you all know by now, there is no boy in our (immediate) future. We will be a family of three females (yes, Summit counts!) and one male come Christmas. And here comes the realization bit - all of the sudden (literally, it happened fast) - I am SO excited to have a girl! HOW did that happen? I don't really know. Maybe I just had to give it good hard thought. Careful consideration. And it dawned on me....I was meant to raise a girl. Now, if you know me, you know that I don't believe there is any higher power making decisions for us or influencing the pattern or path our lives take. That's not really my thing. But I do believe that things happen for a reason. And I feel in my heart that I was meant to mother and mentor a girl.
The truth is girls ARE complicated and perhaps more difficult to raise than boys. Clearly I'm not qualified to definitively say that, but maybe the underlying reason why I leaned blue instead of pink from the beginning was because I felt this way and it freaked me out a little. There is a huge responsibility that comes with raising a girl. Why? Because life can be tough on women. Women can be tough on themselves and tough on other women. For every strong, confident, independent women in this world there are twice as many that suffer severe hardships, struggle with self esteem issues, body issues, self-worth, poverty and abusive or unhealthy relationships. I'd be foolish to say "not my girl" because even the best laid plans can go astray and there is no perfect child or perfect method of raising one. I know this. But I now understand that the circumstance James and I find ourselves in today has given us the opportunity to do our best to raise a strong, confident, compassionate, creative, unafraid, independent little girl who someday might find herself in a position to influence other women to follow suit. Maybe even her own little girl someday...oh wouldn't that be something - to be a grandparent! Guess we're getting a little ahead of ourselves, eh?
Let's just say - yay! Bring on the PINK. And green, and yellow, and yes, even blue. And maybe someday, we'll have the opportunity to raise a strong, confident, healthy little boy. Who knows EXACTLY how to treat women. =)
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| Pink AND Blue balloons...an ode to our future son. |
Beautifully said! You will be an awesome Mom and James an awesome Dad.
ReplyDeleteLove Smom
I feel the exact same way about possibly raising a girl someday, its terrifying! The world is so crazy now, especially for girls, I mean have you ever walked by the store Justice? Scary! But, feeling that way, and realizing those things means that you will do a wonderful job raising this little girl. Also, I have always thought that men that had older sisters really do understand and know how to treat women. :)
ReplyDeleteLOVE LOVE LOVE this!!! I wanted a boy and a girl too and you know our surprise when two girls came out! But I seriously couldn't imagine it any other way within seconds! And I'd totally be ok with another girl - Dave on the other hand I'm not so sure about! hahaha It's going to be awesome!! :-)
ReplyDeleteI have two little boys. It is not easy at all! I honestly don't believe that either gender is easier to raise than the other. So much depends on individual personalities as well as peer influence. Of course, I don't have a daughter, so what do I know.
ReplyDeleteBoy or girl, you just have to do your best to let your child know they are loved and help them be a gentleman or a lady. You also need a lot of patience, because sweet babies turn into toddlers, and toddlers some times dump olive oil out all over your living room.
Heather, I'm sure raising two little boys comes with all kinds of joys and disturbances, haha. Before we found out we were having a girl, I daydreamed about what it might be like to end up with TWO boys instead of what I thought I wanted...a boy and then a girl. I imagined a very lively house and two very rambunctious kiddos! I'm sure this is your reality everyday and I didn't mean to assume it was easy. I think I was mostly envisioning what it would be like to raise young adults. In my crazy head, and perhaps based on my own experience struggling as a teenager, I just feel like females can sometimes have a harder time negotiating those years (and beyond) than males. And I struggle sometimes when I think about how, as a mother, to adequately prepare a young girl for life and how to help her though the rough patches that will inevitably come as she gets older without being overbearing or over-parenting. I am sure, however that every parent, regardless of what gender your child is, struggles with this too. It's a good thing they aren't born teenagers or we'd all be in trouble. Haha.
DeleteOh no kidding! I knew exactly what you meant.
DeleteWith girls, I think there is definitely more of a worry about their emotional needs and sense of self-worth. With boys, I think most parents worry about what reckless things they will do physically. Will my sons play baseball in the dining room using my grandmother's china as bases? Will they crash every car they ever drive? Will they punch the gym teacher? Will they get face tattoos?
Here's hoping the universe lets me have a daughter some day to balance the worry out a bit. Also, Jeremy is jealous that I will get to have two special wedding dances some day (mother & groom) and he doesn't have any (as of now).
So much to worry about with being a parent.
Mostly we worry about whether or not our kids will get accepted to Gettysburg.