Getting Hitched, Part IV: The Ceremony

warning...you'll need some stamina to get through this one all in one shot...sorry it's lengthy, but hey, it was the most important part of the whole day...scratch that, our whole lives!

As I began to struggle during the second half our our father-daughter journey down the aisle, I searched for the one thing I was truly looking for...James. When our eyes found each other, the moment was divine. One might think such a thing could cause a bride to completely unravel, but for me, it had the opposite effect. In that moment, I just beamed and pulled myself together because I was no longer nervous or anxious, I was just happy! And James, well, he was happy too and just as much caught up in the moment as I was. There were even a few tears.

I parted ways with my dad with a swift kiss on the cheek and eagerly joined hands with James. Our officiant, Reverend Dr. Maxwell Olmstead, took over from there. He is a close family friend and also the minister of my parent's church. He also happened to be our neighbor as well. While James and I aren't particularly religious, we approached Max about our wedding just after getting engaged to see if he would be willing to officiate a non-religious ceremony. He was more than accommodating and helped us through the whole process. In the end, James and I (ok, it was mostly me) wrote the entire ceremony ourselves and Max delivered it perfectly. He also wrote his own "message" to us which was really special, full of meaning, and a spot on analogy of nature and marriage.

My brother Curt recited our first reading. We selected the poem, "How falling in love is like owning a dog" by Taylor Mali. It was really funny and got a lot of laughs. Summit enjoyed the attention. The poem was totally spot on too. Text of our readings can be found on our wedding website, here.

James' sister, Alisa stood up to recite our second reading. It was an excerpt from Captain Corelli's Mandolin. Less funny, but we loved the intensity of it and the meaning behind the words. So beautiful. Both Curt and Alisa did a great job.

Next, came Max's message that I alluded to earlier. He did such an awesome job. If you only watch one video from this post, choose this one. It's great.

Then, a big moment. Our vows. James and I wrote our own vows. James was brave and went first. Below are pictures and also a video clip of the moment. It's difficult to hear it all, so the text is also here as well. I wasn't sure we'd get through them, but we soldiered on and it was well worth it!

Cary,

Whatever lies ahead in both our lives, through the darkest times and through the best of times, I promise to always be the sunshine in your life. I will support you through laughter and through tears; through stress and through serenity, as you have loved, so I love you. I pledge to be the rock that you stand on. I pledge to give you presents with my presence alone. I pledge to always be there for you when a storm arises. Our love is stronger than forever. I will comfort you, honor you, cherish you and love you forevermore.

James,

You are the love of my life. I still can’t believe we are standing here today and that I get to spend the rest of my life with you. I promise to burn this day into my memory keeping it at as a reminder of our love and commitment to each other.

It’s the little things that make me love you. You are caring and gentle. You are the most honest person I’ve ever met. You work hard and share your talents with others, rarely asking for anything in return. You’ve given me so much and inspire me everyday to be a better version of myself. You’ve held me up when I’ve been weak, you’ve shared in my joys and sorrows, fears and hopes. You love me for who I am. I love you too. The love you have given me freely and without reservation has inspired these vows:

I promise from this day forward to give you in even greater measure, the gifts of my heart.

I will listen, when you need a friend, so that you will never be alone.

I promise to support you, through laughter and tears, in the largest and smallest of your endeavors.

I will do my share, with my hands and with my heart, to build a life for us that is happy, creative and abundant.

I promise to make your dreams as important as my own, in order that we may share one dream for a future together.

I promise to respect you as I respect myself, for your successes and despite your failures.

I will be truthful and never withholding, so you have no reason to doubt the sincerity of my vows.

And I will love you, deeply and without constraint, through whatever life may bring.

Wherever our path leads us, it leads us together. I feel proud, I feel honored, from this day forward, to be called your wife. I love you with all my heart.

Next, we exchanged the rings. Andrew and Curt helped out with this.

Finally, we concluded the ceremony by performing an ancient ritual called handfasting. Throughout history, there have been many versions of handfasting and reasons why it was performed as part of a marriage ceremony. For us, it was a symbolic representation of what each others hands meant to our relationship and our new connectedness as we join together in marriage. We would be bound together from that moment forward.

Here is a little bit of the ceremony script that Max recited as our hands were fasted together:

Cary, take James' hands palms up, so that you may see the gift that the are to you. These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and vibrant with love, that hold yours on your wedding day as he promises to love you all the days of his life.

Now James, take Cary's hands, palms up so that you may see the gift that they are to you. These are the hands of your best friend. Smooth, young and carefree that are holding yours on your wedding day as she promises to love you all the days of your life.

Now please join hands so that they may be fasted in the ways of old. Remember then as your hands are fasted, these are not the ties that bind. The love already shared by your hearts has been strengthened by the vows you have taken. You will be bound by your love as you are bound by your clasped hands from now until the end of your days.

These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you throughout the years and with the slightest touch will comfort you like no other. These are the hands that will work alongside yours as you build your future together. These are the hands that will hold you whenever illness, fear or grief may find you. These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it. These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children. These are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yous. Bless these hands that you see before you on this day. May they always reach out with love, gentleness and respect. May they build a loving relationship that lasts a lifetime. may they always be held by one another. IF you follow these words and heed this sacred binding, your hands will heal, protect, shelter and guide. Now you may remove the cords, but remember the knot is a lasting symbol of your binding and commitment to each other.

The ceremony was drawing to a close and it was time to make it official. With a few final words of wisdom, Max was ready to send us on our way. Of course, we sealed it with a kiss!

We made our way back down the aisle, husband and wife.

Curt had a surprise waiting for us. He had spent the night before making a banner to tow behind his remote control airplane. The banner read "Just Married" on one side and "James loves Cary" on the other. Unfortunately, the plane had some mechanical issues that caused it to crash to the ground, but the plan was salvaged as Curt triumphantly ran around the crowd with it anyway, banner in tow.

The group gathered in one of the gardens for a post-wedding group photo. I'm so glad we did this, it was great to see everyone together in one spot!

Phew! That was a long one, hope you're still here. To watch video of the full ceremony, visit our wedding website video log, here.

What's up next? A photoshoot! Be on the look out for Getting Hitched, Part V: Bridal Par-TAY

Need a reminder of how we got here again?

Getting Hitched Part III: Da, Dum, Da Da...
Getting Hitched Part II: Operation "Pretty"
Getting Hitched Part I: Practice Makes Perfect